« He’s provoking me! »: Filling the tank, once again

The container of love, or container of affection… A term already heard many times.

I think the first time that I heard this expression was in The 5 love languages of children . (which I’ll have to put up here someday… But I read it much before starting this blog…)

Isabelle Filliozat uses this expression in “He’s provoking me!”, and gives various illustrations of it, as we have already seen in the first article I wrote about this book.

Here, a couple suggestions as to ways of filling it:

  • A shared game, in the morning, to fill it up before the day to come.

According to Isabelle Filliozat : “A game in the morning entails a considerable reduction of complains, cries, and fights for the rest of the day.” Not easy to find a time to play in the morning routine…
(A thought for Marie, my sister in law, who told me that getting ready to go to school was one of the most stressful moments for her)

But I like this idea, I’m already persuaded that it must provide a real improvement.
Aren’t we always told to reduce the level of stress imposed to children?
I think I’m going to try.

  • Laughing and pretend fighting

Pillow fights and other tickles are opportunities to come closer, with strong increases of ocytocines…

And if sometimes the game ends in tears, it could be because the child feels safe again, and expresses his problems. In a way, we help him rebuild the link with the figure of attachment, so he “finally” expresses himself

It’s also the occasion to help the child, boy or girl, to test his limits, even control himself. We can put certain ground rules : “When I say STOP, we stop.”

It will also help them when they play with their siblings !

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