They « finally » express themselves…

A notion that seems simple but that I hadn’t measured before: the ease of expression in front of the figure of attachment. I borrow this term, “figure of attachment” from Isabelle Filliozat.

Where does she describe this phenomenon, I don’t know anymore.

Was it in “J’ai tout essayé ! » (« I tried everything ! »), or in “Il me cherche ! » (« He’s provoking me!”), in Understanding children’s emotions?

She uses this term to refer to the person, in the child’s surroundings, often the mother, with whom the child feels close enough to express himself.
And that is why the child sometimes “behaves well” with others, and starts complaining, crying, as soon as his mother appears: because he finally feels safe, and thus finally feels the right to express his feelings.
What a frustration right??

So, to summarize, if the child cries with his mother, it’s because he feels good…
Well…at least good enough to express that he doesn’t feel good!!
A much more positive way to see things!

Sure enough we have all lived moments where we have seen the child show only his emotions in the presence of his figure of attachment…
A concrete personal example.