« He’s provoking me! »: To create intimacy

In “He’s provoking me!” (“Il me cherche!”), Isabelle Filliozat makes a remarque about our relationship with our children : Sometimes, we try to make them speak about themselves without really managing it.

“How did it go?” receives the answer “well”. It’s completely dull!

There are quite a few ways to open otherwise the conversation for better results, but what I’m interested in here, is the idea that we encourage our child better through explaining what we have ourselves lived through. We can take the initiative of creating the intimacy!

I noticed it first hand:
Last night, we went to a restaurant with our two older ones (14 and 9 years old), and Nicolas said with a large smile (and without having read this book) “Today, we finally sent a first version of the budget to the headquarters! ”
It didn’t mean anything to them, they didn’t know there was a budget to be sent, but they were happy to see their farther happy, and immediately followed up with their anecdotes from that day!