As a conclusion to the book, the authors look back to their journey
This chapter is called « New portrait », because along the way, our image of what a parent is has changed.
We know now that it would be naive to think we can always remain calm, that it is more a question of how to express our anger without showing contempt,
that it is fundamental to validate our children’s feelings
that our words count, not only our love,
that sometimes we help better by not helping,
That we must accompany the child, not take the decisions for him,
that the world will take care of crushing his dreams, our place is more to let him build them,
that a child improves better when we show him what he does well than if we focus on what he doesn’t,
that a child slips into the role we cast him in.
Our main responsibility is to show our kids what they are worth, that they have value, we must teach them to love themselves.
Then, despite it all, we’re not yet to the point, it is the job of a lifetime, we are still good parents in becoming…
But, I like what the author writes: « I am rich with possibilities.
I can describe the problem, help children to find their own solution, lay down a rule, declare my expectations and affirm my values, screaming my outrage, write a note, give choices, etc… »
and as for a musical instrument, we will regularly need tuning…