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Who did it?

A note resulting from an answer to one of the parent questions in the comments of Chapter 3 of  How to talk so kids will listen..., about punishment.
When we see something that we do not like, we can (and we have to) comment on it, but do we need to seek the culprit? Wouldn’t that just encourage the children to blaming each other?
It is sometimes better to go directly to the corrective action.
The example from the book: “I hate seeing peelings on the couch!” (rather than “Who left peelings on the couch?”)
In general, the responsible one will react spontaneously.
If we hear “Wasn’t me!”, it is an opportunity to give the following message:
“I am not interested in knowing who did it: I don’t mean to change the past, I want to see an improvement in the future.”

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