Like in the books!!

This evening, we have one of Léon’s friend home. (Léon is 4 and a half). Léon is very happy about playing with her, but she is not really willing to be with him… Truth to be told: he wants to build an aerial tram, and she doesn’t.
Léon’s blocked: he’s crying, crying, crying.
I decide to follow the guide.
Phase 0: I sit next to him, and try to surround him with my love, he pushes me away.
Phase 1: I stay in front of him, with a tender look, telling him I am here for when he want to talk. In order to not let his crying get to me, I imagine a cup in front of me where his tears can go without touching me, as suggested in “He’s provoking me!”.
Finally, he extends his arms, cuddles, then gets out and explains that he wanted to build an aerial tram with Pauline…
Phase 2: Listening and welcoming feelings
“Yes, I see you feel miserable, you really wanted to make the aerial tram and you really wanted to make it with Pauline. It is sad that she doesn’t want to make it with you, because you love to build things…”
Phase 3: the one I love: giving in fantasy
“It would be great to have a friend who loves building things like you do! So you could build lots of things together…”
Phase 4: the choice
“Let’s see, what’s most important to you ? To build the aerial tram, or to be with Pauline?” Answer: be with Pauline.
“Ok, let’s ask her what she wants to do.” Answer: to draw.
Phase 5: Looking for solutions (coming from me, but better than nothing!)
“I have several ideas of things you could do:
you could draw with her; or you could build your tram in the living room while she draws on your side; or you could ask her if she wants to draw on your tram…”
It is finally the 3rd solution that have been chosen, and they are both playing together!
I feel very happy with myself…

 

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